Much like sin, uncomfortable feelings can arise without us knowing. Msgr. Don reflects on how important those moments can be and how to effectively use them.

Good morning. I want to talk about this work that you and I share of opening our heart and our mind and our wills to a God who is greater than we are. And there's a thing that is inside of us that helps that to flourish. And I'm trying to get a feel of what that is. And I know it's this positive desire to be authentically who we are, to share that with other people. But there's also another kind of motive that I've experienced in my life. And maybe you have. And that's the darkness. 

Darkness. The feeling of emptiness. The feeling that you're not hitting the mark. I think sometimes I look at myself and I wake up some days and I feel like nothing is right. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels like I'm like I'm in the place I should be in. And I always think, “Well, why am I feeling bad?” Because it seems weird that if I have a strong faith, why should I? It's not exactly a doubt that God is there, but it's an absence of Him that I think is designed to awaken us to a deeper conviction. That without him, without his consistent presence, we can fall back into a vulnerable shame filled, frightened human being. And if you feel that, don't don't feel like, “Oh, my God, I've regressed, I've lost my faith,” the darkness is part of being awakened to the value of the light. And one thing about that darkness, if you look at it deeply enough, it will never lead you into total darkness. It'll lead you into a sense that darkness is overpowering the light, but it can't put it out.

So whatever you do, don't feel something is wrong when you have experiences of emptiness, when you know that the God that is in you, that you believe is there to give you a sense of fullness. I don't know where there is a balance that he does with us so that we don't get inflated but there are moments in Jesus' life where you can sense he's frustrated and he's upset and he's not happy at the Garden of Gethsemane. Why would Jesus, who is so filled with an understanding of who God is, find himself terrified in the garden and begging God that, please, “I don't want to go through this.” Darkness. It may not be that dramatic, but it will be experienced and don't use it in a way that is abusive to you. Don't see it in a way that's abusive to you. 

It's a reminder. It's something that gives you a sense of how valuable this ongoing, steady awareness of God inside of you, loving you and caring for you. Believe it's there. It never, ever goes away, even though you may find yourself disconnected for a while. But the disconnection could be a marvelous tool to increase your awareness of what a gift it is and it will be there I guarantee you, just like Dawn follows night.

Have a good day.

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