17th Sunday in Ordinary Time: Cycle B 20-21

2 Kings 4:42-44 | Ephesians 4:1-6 | John 6:1-15

 Almighty, everliving God who govern all things, both in heaven and on earth, mercifully hear the pleading of your people and bestow your peace on our times. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.

I mentioned to you that we’re reading scripture from the year of Mark, but as you know, Mark’s gospel is the shortest of all the gospels, and there really isn’t enough in it to fulfill all the Sundays of ordinary time, which is about 33, 34 Sundays.  So today we have John’s gospel, and I think it’s worth noting how different John’s gospel is than Mark and Matthew and Luke, because those first three are the ones we call the synoptic gospels, and they’re very similar.  And one of the things that’s similar about them is they basically are reflections of those who witnessed the actions of Jesus.  So what you find in the synoptic gospel is a great indication and a history of what Jesus did, but John’s gospel is different.  It’s not focused so much on what Jesus did but who Jesus is.  Who he is in John’s gospel is such a strong, clear message that this Jesus is God incarnate.  He’s God.   

Now, we know that he was man and God, but if you work from the man position, you learn a lot about what it means to be human and the beauty and the dignity of humanity.  But also if you focus, and I don’t really do this that much myself personally, but if you really focus on Jesus as God, then you have a lot to learn about who God is in this figure Jesus.  And when the disciples would ask, “Show us the Father.  Who’s the Father?  What does he do?”  And Jesus would look at his disciples with that piercing look that he must have had and say, “Hey, you see me?  You’re looking at me; you’re looking at the Father.”  So when John starts his gospel, he goes back to the very beginning and says, “At the very beginning of time, Jesus was there.  Well, how is that, that Jesus existed for all time?  Well, the part of Jesus that existed for all time was his divinity, because Jesus’ divinity is God.  So it’s like saying — when John’s gospel says that Jesus was there at the beginning, he’s making another statement subtly that this Jesus is the best reflection we have of who God is.  So yes, God was there at the beginning of creation.  So that meant Jesus, the divinity in Jesus was there, but there’s this mystery.  The divinity of Jesus was so integrated into his humanity that it was one.  So let’s just go back to staying with this one image.  When we see Jesus recorded in this gospel, we’re looking at God and how he works in the world today in your life and in my life. 

One of the other things about John’s gospel that’s interesting is how many different ways in which John records the actions of Jesus, because they’re not the same things that we find in the other synoptics.  There’s many miracles that John never mentions.  Particularly the one that’s shocking, in a way, is he doesn’t mention the Last Supper in terms of the Eucharist.  You remember it’s the Last Supper because of the washing of the feet, and he also has some other things that are left out that seem very important, like driving out demons.  John never mentions in his gospel that Jesus drove demons out of people.  But what did he stress?  Well, the interesting thing is the stressing in this particular gospel, which is so important, is the feeding of the 5,000.  I found this out, and I never knew this, never realized it, but the only miracle that’s in every one of the four gospels is this miracle, the feeding of the 5,000.  So there must be something in this particular image of God feeding people that is crucial to our understanding the relationship we have with God. 

If you look back to the Old Testament, you see the image of God feeding people when he gathered the Israelite people together, took them out of slavery, into freedom, and he was — on this journey, the one thing that was clear that he had to do, as well as direct them, is to feed them.  And the one thing that they didn’t like and they complained about the most was the food.  “We don’t want this food.  We’re tired of this food.  We want to go back to slavery where we had the right food.”  So interesting, people love food, but he was there feeding them.  Then he had, in this first gospel from the book of the prophet Elisha, you’ll see — it’s from 2 Kings, but basically you’re seeing, again, the image is there.  The prophet calls upon someone to feed the people, and they say, “There’s not enough,” and “Yes, there’s enough.  Stop thinking there’s not enough.”

So what is this miracle all about?  Why is it so important?  Well, let’s start with an image that I like to focus on, and that’s the image that John uses as to who Jesus is.  He’s divinity, but he has terms that he uses, light of the world.  He is the bread of life, and over and over in John’s gospel, he keeps talking about what God has come into the world to give to you is life — life.  Well, what’s he talking about?  What is this light and life?  Well, it’s more than existence.  It’s enlightenment, I think.  It’s living with a more clear consciousness of what’s going on in our relationship with God, and it’s about life.  Life is this wonderful gift that God gives us that we let slip through our fingers, because we get caught up in anxiety and worry and needing certain things to be a certain way, and we lose any sense of well-being and of peace.  I know you, like me, live in a lot of anxiety.  It’s so interesting to me that this anxiety that we have is often based on a kind of fear that is not really very logical.  Like for example — this may be a too personal example, but whenever I’m doing something and I fear that I might be making a mistake or saying something that’s offensive to someone or not showing up when I promised I would or making some kind of mistake, I feel it physically in my gut.  It’s a dread that’s right there, like, “Oh, my God.  I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.”  And when I have that feeling that I’m out of sync with what I’m supposed to do, there is this dread, anxiety.  And when I think about life, when I think about all the things that you have on your plate and I have on my plate, all the responsibilities we have, and then you add to those the responsibilities that we feel our religion puts on us — that we should have a certain way of being in the world and helping people and being good to people — with all that responsibility, it’s so easy to see that there would be a way at times we would say, “I’m not enough.  I can’t do this.  I’m always failing.”  There it is.  “I’m not enough.” 

Nothing is more important than you believing, and I need to believe more that I’m not enough to do what it is that God has called me to do in this world.  I’m not talking now about keeping appointments or making a mistake.  I’m talking about the plan of God, what we’re here to accomplish, and what is that that we’re here to accomplish?  I don't know.  I have no clear indication of what it means that I am living in God’s will, accomplishing all the things he wants me to do for me and for the people around me and all that.  But I do know that it exists.  There is a plan, and when I’m in sync with that plan, when I feel like I’m part of it and it’s flowing the way it should, there’s a peaceful feeling.  But when I don’t have it, when there’s darkness, when there’s a misstep or things like that, that’s when I feel like I’m not going to make it.  All right, if it’s natural and healthy for you to believe that you’re not going to make it, then what do we need?  We need someone to be there with us, right? 

So what is this image of Jesus, i.e. God, being in your life and in my life to be there to enlighten you, to show you the way and also at the same time to bring you this kind of inner peace and well-being and know that you’re safe and that everything is all right?  So if that’s there, then why doesn’t God just give it to us, and then we have it?  I’m not ever worried or anything like that.  It doesn’t work that way.  This is really important that I say this slowly, and I hope that you can follow me.  When God in Jesus is present, he is feeding you in the moment — in the moment.  He’s not going to give you all the energy, all the sustenance you need before you go into something difficult and you know you’re prepared for it, no matter what happens, you can handle it.  No, it’s in the moment — in the moment, and so that’s why in John’s gospel there’s something so unique and so interesting.  The way John tells the story is different than the way the story’s told in the synoptics, and there’s a very interesting change.  It’s the same except for one crucial moment.  Who distributes the food to the people that are hungry in Matthew, Mark and Luke?  Jesus gives the food to the disciples and says to the disciples, “Give this to the people.”  In John’s gospel, it’s Jesus that gives the food to everyone.  Now, 5,000 people and one person is handing out the food — come on.  Don’t get caught up in the logistics of that.  It’s like there’s this little thing that’s in our minds, little, a few pieces of fish and a little bread, and when it’s in the hands of this life force, this presence of God in our life — Jesus represents that.  He is God in that moment.  He gives exactly to us what we need at that moment — at that moment, and then there is a kind of well-being in the midst of everything.  No matter how dark or how hard or how unwelcome or whatever, there’s a way of feeling that everything is okay.  Everything is as it must be.  That is the most wonderful feeling, and it’s founded in having faith in who Jesus is and what he does.  And what he does is he represents — no, he is the presence of God giving us all that we need in that moment. 

So that means that our conviction, our faith is that there’s nothing that we won’t be able to handle.  Now, what does that mean?  There’s nothing we can’t accomplish or fix or improve upon?  No, it means whatever it is, there’s a grace in the moment that you and I have that we can say, “It’s all right.  It’s all right.”  When I’ve been with people who are close to death and they’re struggling constantly to fight this thing that looks like it’s going to take their life away, even though it’s a new birth coming into their life, but they’re resisting, they’re resisting, they’re resisting.  And I can always tell you, if I go to visit that person toward the end of their life, I’ll walk in one day, and all of a sudden they look ten years younger.  They  have a face that looks like it’s at peace, and I talk to them, and they say something like, “Hey, whatever happens is okay.  I’m fine.  I’ll be okay.”  That’s faith in action when this person has the sense that this grace that is there, called the presence of divinity, resonating life into you at the moment when you need it the most, that key right there is the message of John’s gospel.  God is in your life.  He knows everything that’s happening to you.  He knows what’s coming before you know it.  Does he give you all the strength and all the power that you need to handle everything?  If he did that, if he gave us all the power and we were going around saying, “No matter what happens, I can handle it,” we’d be monsters, ego monsters, because we’d feel like we don’t need anybody.  No, we need divinity like we need food, air, water, and without it, we lose something that’s crucial in terms of engaging in this thing, this beautiful thing he’s given us, his life. 

I struggle with that so much, to be able to say, “Whatever happens is fine.”  And every time I go into a dread and a feeling of failure and I just taste that awful feeling that is just like, I don't know, shame, anger, fear, because I’m not good enough, he’s smiling at me and saying, “No, you are good enough.  You’re good enough in your imperfection and your weakness.  You’re good enough, because I’m right here in that moment to give you what you need, and that’s my joy.  That’s my passion, to be light and life for you.”  So we need to believe in it and trust in it.  It’s essential to everything that we long for when it comes to the kingdom of God. 

 Father, your promise — presence that we learn about in this man, God, Jesus is a constant, steady source of all that we need to endure, engage and be a part of the plan that you’ve given us in this life.  So bless us with this confidence and his gifts, and let us trust, when we even feel normally that we can’t do it, that’s fine.  But just feed us also with the conviction that, with you, with God, with him, we can do all things.  And we ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.